These days everyone wants everything right now. We’re always looking for the shortcut. The easy way out. Success in a microwaveable package. And this thought process can carry over into our romantic lives. You want instant success when it comes to winning back your ex.

Because we are so used to getting everything we want with just the click of a button, we forget that humans relationships are not controlled by electronics. There is no on-off switch on our hearts. And the healing process takes a little bit longer than sending a text message. Establishing love and trust takes time, and if your ex has left you, then you will have to make changes in your way of thinking and give them that time if you are thinking of winning back your ex.

The secret to whether you’ll succeed at winning back your ex is Time. How long were you together? If you were only together for a few weeks, chances are not very good that you’ll get back together. But you do still need to give your ex some time to calm down and get themselves back together before you try to contact the?

Were you together for a few years? The good news is, you’ll have a much better chance at getting back together simply because you were together for so long. Give your ex plenty of time to be on his own before you try to contact him. Remember, Time is the secret here. It takes time for them to calm down, more time to heal and a little more time to forget. Don’t worry. They won’t forget about you during this “quiet” time.

Maybe this would also be a good time for you to take some time as well; after all, breakups aren’t always one sided. You need to make sure that you are fully prepared when you begin the challenge of winning back your ex!

I call these tips for getting back together, but in reality they should be called rules – remember yesterday when I said there were a few more rules you need to follow?

1. Are you both willing to compromise? – Understand that things won’t always go your way. And sometimes you may have to make a sacrifice for the relationship. If you’re prepared for this inevitable compromise, check this one off, too.

2. Are you in love with your ex? – Or are you in love with the romantic idea of getting back together with your ex?

3. Are you confident your ex loves you? – Are you getting back together again because you love each other or because it’s the comfortable thing to do? Have you tried getting along without your ex?

4. Are you both willing to forget the past – The past is over and can’t be changed. If you of you is holding a grudge, or is unwilling to forgive the other, than this is not a good time to get back together.

5. Are you and your ex willing to continue working on developing and taking care of yourselves? – Love means a total commitment to each other, but not at the sake of your own self. Will you be able to allow your ex the space he or she needs to continue working on their own self improvement and growth?

Once you’ve both come to an agreement on these and many other issues, you will be well on your way to getting back together and finding lasting love.

Here’s a list of 5 things to consider if you and your ex are thinking about getting back together again.

1. Have past issues been resolved? – Maybe you haven’t even discussed the break up. If not, you’re definitely not ready to get back together. But if you’ ve at least come to a clear understanding of the issue that caused the breakup, then check this one off the list.

2. Did both of you learn anything from this breakup? – Break ups don’t just happen over night and without good reason. If you’ve discussed the issue and learned how to prevent it from happening again, then check this one off, too.

3. Does your future together look promising? – When you look into the future of your relationship, does it look different than the past? Do you both understand that relationships, as well as the people who are in them, are constantly growing and changin?

4. Did you learn that you can live without him? – One of the biggest reasons that people stay in bad relationships, or rekindle a bad relationship is because they think they can’t live without their partner. You both should have learned that that is not the case. Did you both find a way to enjoy life while you were separated? If yes, than mark this one off.

5. Are your life goals and core beliefs basically aligned? – Can you at least support each other on the paths that you’ve chosen and help each other along the way?

Tomorrow, I have more tips for you, and more things to add to that checklist – we all know how important checklists are, don’t we? And most importantly, we must have a plan to win at getting back together.